Chapter 8, part 26.

I gotta say, this year have been pretty awesome. Even thou i saw a uglier side of life but i met alot of pretty fucking awesome people. School, work and social apps gonna be one of the good choices i made this year, (hopefully) Yes i did lose some friends along the way, but people come people go right? The friends that i lost was replaced by even better friends, end of the day, win win situation. Yes i do get affected by people leaving, esp when they made me so attached to em, make me think that those friendship was special but screwed them. I'm happy, i can finally say, im really happy. August have been the most amazing month by far. There are more up s than downs, my mental state is getting better too. Sharing my thoughts really help me alot. May the rest of 2016 be awesome too. ☺️

Chapter 8, part 21.

Today, I'm letting go of you. I've finally realized how stupid I was holding onto something that isn't worth it. You ain't worth it. I'm done thinking about what's wrong with me. I'm done being so negative about the whole situation. I'm done holding on to fuck boys. I love you, but I'm going to love myself more. Till then.

Chapter 8, part 19.

I really want to start afresh again. I want to be able to date someone without having comparing em' to you. I want a companion, I want to look forward talking to someone special, I wanna go to movie dates or dinner dates. I wanna fight, smile, cry together with another person. But how am I supposed to do all that when I can't even let someone in, I don't know how to trust someone new, all I get was just disappointment. I'm tired of being alone. I wanna have someone special. When can I let go? How do i get go of something without a closure? You were the only one who I really trusted and told my dark secrets to. What went wrong? What have i done till you had to leave? I thought we were happy?  

Chapter 6, part 12.

Its been close to 9 months since we last talk. Whenever im falling for someone new, i would always end up dreaming of you. Why? I really miss you so much. ☹️

Chapter 1, part 7.

I kinda miss so many people right now, and you know it sucks because nothing is going to be like same like before. I miss  my guy friends, call me a flirt or whatever, some of them, make me feels like i actually have a brother, the way they care and love me, i just feel so happy. I think i didnt appreciate them enough, that they left. Or something happen in between, but i really miss some of them.

Im not sure how am i supposed to describe 2015, but it have been a crazy rollar coaster ride. 2015, is the year i started blackshot and know a ton of amazing friends. Do not compare skills bc i obviously suck at it, but yeah the fun part is there. I actually got close to one of my blackshot friend, we met up and hang out a couple of time and well he left for some reason. I met another awesome guy, he is really really great, but i guess there isnt any chemistry. It sucks how we aint talking now though, i wish there isnt any feelings involved, i like how my friendship with everyone is about fun and fun and more fun. As much i think i wanna love someone new, i kinda wanna learn to love myself too. 

This year, i'm going to be 19 already. Time pass so quickly, im afraid i really am. And i dont know what to do, i have so many questions, so many doubts.  But its okay, postitive thinking. :-) I wanna create a bucket list soon and try to complete it by the end of this year. Okay  bye. Till then.

Chapter 1, part 3.

Its 2016 already, not sure what to look forward to. But im glad shitty december is over, so many thing happen, so many lesson learnt.