Chapter 12, part 18.

"I was searching for words for a long time to tell you how I feel, but the post stayed empty and I couldn't describe it any better. "

i dont know how am i going to let someone new in anymore. im too fking damanged to handle.

Chapter 12, part 15.

I dont know how long this shitty feeling would last, i dont know how long i will last.. but.. i will get better.. eventually. I will be happy.

Chapter 12, part 10.

I hate the person i am now. I seem to make everybody upset, that sucks. It really sucks, i hate how fk up my attitude is. I hate everything about myself right now. Sometimes, i just think, im better off dead maybe everyone would be happier.. Idk why suddenly i'm so affected, i just to not care about alot of things, im used to shutting all my emotions up. And just be the happy person. Idk what change me. Time? As part of growing up? I dont know. Things wasnt supposed to turn out this way... Whats wrong with me.. I never felt so defeated in my life. I never felt so upset in sucha long time. Was i a fking mistake? Im tired, i really am. Every night, i try my best to stay up so that i wont sleep, always pray that once i sleep, i will never wake up. I know im selfish thinking this way, but... Its truth. I'm really better off dead.. I hate depression, but i cant get rid of it. I'm sorry. I really tried this time, i really did...

Chapter 12, part 3.

I dreamt about you two nights ago. I miss you.

Chapter 11, part 24.

I'll never be good enough for you.

I'll never be good enough for you. I'll never be good enough for you. I'll never be good enough for you. I'll never be good enough for you. I'll never be good enough for you. I'll never be good enough for you. I'll never be good enough for you. I'll never be good enough for you.

One day, i will wake up and say, i'm too good for you.

Chapter 11, part 20.

Hi, its been awhile. I'm afraid, i'm afraid of the future, i'm afraid of loneliness, i'm afraid of being me. I'm afraid of what other's might think of me honestly, even though i always act as though i dont care, but i really do deep down. I'm afraid of failing, i'm afraid of changes. i'm afraid when someone leaves me. 

It really sucks how people just walk away without saying goodbye, it really sucks. I'm not perpared at all. It sucks how someone who talks for you constantly for  a few months suddenly just leaves. Like dont you feel anything for our friendship? Do i not mean a thing? Whats the point of knowing each other when you're not even staying? Whats the point of you sharing your life stories with me, asking me to trust you? Whats the point? Tell me? I really dont get it, no, i dont need you to be constantly talking to me. I dont know whats on your mind, but then again, it doesnt matter anymore, bc you're gone. Well, half of my friends is gone. And maybe end of the day, i'm really a shitty friend. 

Chapter 10, part 13.

I've been thinking, maybe what i felt for you wasnt love or anything. It will just your company around me. I've been lonely all this while, and somehow, being with you make me feel so happy. Maybe thats why when you left i was so sad. But that sadness only lasted a day. Im glad. But whatever, 33 days more to legal :)

Chapter 10, part 9.

I never thought i will be crying over someone so soon. I never thought that i will be this weak again. Just when i got my faith in guys, in you.. You just had to break everything. Just when i start to put two feet into this bullshit, things change. Haha just my luck or what? 

Im sorry for not being able to be the idea type.

I'm sorry for being sensitive.

I'm sorry for being bitchy at times.

I'm sorry for joking about things i shoudnt.

I'm sorry for being a slut.

I'm sorry for being useless.

I'm sorry for being me to you.

I'm sorry for even thinking you would accept me.

I'm sorry for falling for you.

I'm sorry for letting you in.

But you know, thank you. Thank you for teaching me a lesson that sweet talkers like you is just a temporarily thing. But im sorry for trusting you. To think about it, how many lies have you told me? 

Chapter 10, part 4.

I want someone to chase me, not when only the starting. But through out our whole relationship. I want someone who will constantly put in effort on me. I want someone who is willing to accept me for who i am, and maybe change me for the better. I want someone, maybe not someone. I want you to be that someone, A. What happen to your words? What happen to never giving up? What happen? What did i ever do wrong to you? I tried my best to make this work, what went wrong? Am i not good enough for you? All i ever wanted was to see you happy. Does being with me makes you unhappy? If it does, alright then. I will leave you alone from now on. Just tell me alright? I'm tired. I'm tired of waiting.

Chapter 5, part 30

I have no idea why i sad. Then again, i'm always upset over nothing.

Chapter 5, part 18.

"Things will get better."

Chapter 4, part 30.

I fuckedup badly this time didnt i?